Sadly, once my adult self cried for my eight-year-old self when I remembered the physical and emotional pain of being raped on the floor of the locker room at basketball camp. I cried because I know that a part of who I was supposed to be was murdered that day. I cried because I will never know the full potential of who I could have become had that incident never happened. A couple of times I cried because I was just so proud of myself for not allowing pain, tragedy, and grief to consume and cripple me. Admittedly, there have been times when I just cried for no reason or all. I now understand that my soul/heart/body knew exactly what those tears were for, yet for whatever reason they never told my brain and intellect why. Sometimes I cry without tears. I just sit, think, and feel— sometimes numb, excited, lost, joyful, hesitant, loving, cautious, afraid, lonely, worried, amazed, inspired, intrigued, confused. I just sit there as my body, mind, heart, and soul are soothed by the baptism of invisible eternal tears. I sometimes cry when I think about myself; I always feel better after I cry.
What happens when you think about yourself? What do you feel? What do you do? Do you ever cry?